It Takes Two (or 16) To Mango

Fro-yo’s fifteen minutes of fame ended hours ago. So what now? The barrage of do-it-yourself fro-yo joints is overwhelming, and, quite honestly, a little tough to swallow. An interesting observation I have noticed, however, is how ridiculously crowded these places are. Summery fro-yo-appropriate weather aside, they are becoming increasingly more crowded than the standard person-behind-the-counter yogurt places like Pinkberry (chill out with the taking down of names for labeling; it's like the Starbucks of fro-yo), Red Mango (too creamy), and Flurt (my preference, mostly because there are only two of them in the city--one of which is 4 blocks from me). New Yorkers are traveling in hordes to these shops, with whole walls of fro-yo machines, and whole sections of 10 x 3 rows and columns, respectively, of topping bins for you to choose from. With all these DIY options, you can imagine the crowds. Hot Saturday evening? Mob scene. Cloudy Tuesday evening? Mob scene. Rainy Sunday afternoon? Mob scene. You walk by one of these places, the shops' street fronts are so crowded, you'd swear the Obamas were dining inside.

Yet it comes as no surprise that this fro-menting berry backlash is taking place: New Yorkers are spoiled with diversity and options—we like to do what we want, when we want. Like most aspects of our lives, we want the freedom to choose. Why should somebody else decide for us how many strawberries or how much mochi to put atop our yogurt? WE want to decide. (Not you, overly eager Pinkberry salesperson, asking me to repeatedly say my name so she can label it on my cup, misspelled, when there are only four other customers in the light-and-airy kitschy shop.)

Come on people.

Don't get me wrong. I know it's tasty and self-indulgent--believe me, I do; I'm the first to not-so-sheepishly divulge my preference for five toppings (I'm not going to even tell you which ones--I'll just say none are fruit) piled on top of cookies and cream frozen yogurt and NY cheesecake frozen yogurt (contain your stomach reflexes, my friends).

Speaking only of the EVill fro-yo battle (and I don't mean East Village--ok, I do), in a 5 block radius, you have the pleasure of indulging in the likes of Pinkberry, Sixteen Handles, Daydream, Red Mango, OKO, Very Berry, and finally, the true veteran of them all, Tasti D-Lite.

Now that's a mouthful. It's this kind of tom fro-oolery that's got me putting marshmallows and cookie dough (shoot--anonymity blown), to name a few, on top of fake Oreo yogurt.

Maybe they are upping supply in order to satisfy demand. Or perhaps it's working the other way around; perhaps these shop owners are indulging in our penchant for never-ending options, laying claim to a city of buffoons running Lord of the Flies-style around the city, arms flailing, wallets waning, tongues twittering, drool dripping, all in the name of the quest for MORE toppings on top of frozen liquid whose tastes are supposed to mimic real foods, like rich and dense new york cheesecake, but with no trace of actual cheesecake inside? It's truly fro-nomenal.

Be happy and Carpe Diem!